Like the days when I started realizing that I had fallen for you months back and the tingling feeling that made me have butterflies in my stomach just minutes before meeting you, I feel the same even to this day, when it has been 6 years that I met you last. Every time you say, “Let’s catch up in the evening?” or “I am on my way to meet you and will leave for office by 3:00 pm (for the 4:00 pm shift)”, I still feel the blood rush inside me. I make sure to look my best whenever we plan to catch up for a drink or to just grab a bite nearby.
Then there are instances when you go crazy over things I don’t even know about. You think I cheat, you think I am a trouble in your life. The smile I see on your face turns into anger that creeps me out. And all I wish doing at that point of time is run and never see your face again. All I wish I can do is pack my bags, book a ticket to any place unknown and start a life where you can never bother me. Start a life where I can think of doing things I like to do and talk to people I like to talk to.
But, it takes just a few hours or maybe a day or two for me to realize again that deep down inside, I am ready to face these troubles all my life. Deep inside, I can feel my heart whisper, “He too has done a lot for you all these years.” I am told that he isn’t the only person who troubles me, but I do the same too in my own way. And then I realize that we make mistakes in every turn of our life, but what matters is if we accept the mistake and do not repeat it again, a person can be given a chance. As it is said, “Life is full of surprises.”
I do not know any end to this writing and sharing this post. All I know is I wanted to pour out my feelings and learn how better will I feel doing so 🙂
HOLI is over and there cannot be any better reason for me to be happy right now. Yes, I tell this clearly and every year, I hate the festival of Holi. Clearly, it is one of India’s most loved festivals filled with colors, drinks, music and of course, dance. But, it is also the golden opportunity for men who have been keeping an eye on every girl residing in their neighborhood or even somewhere close.
Shouting the line, “Bura na mano Holi hai!” these men believe it to be their birth right to throw and even approach any random girl walking by the street protecting herself from such morons to apply colors on her. Well, their primary motive has never been to apply color, but to TOUCH and MOLEST the very girl who never gave a shit about them.
Just the day before the festival, I remember myself walking towards the market area praying to God that I reach back home safe and clean. As I jumped upon a pool of water, I heard a splash of colored water balloon and the voice of a guy shouting, “Arre yaar behenchod miss ho gaya!” I immediately searched for the voice and turned my head upwards to see a guy laughing and throwing water balloons to people walking on the street. Our eyes met and I could see that he sensed my fear for the same. He then immediately shouted to his friend inside saying, “Aur la jaldi aur la jaldi!” That was when I understood that I should be running if I didn’t want to get all wet and eyes of such other morons staring at my wet tee to get a peek of my tits!
I don’t get it! I mean, festivals are meant to be enjoyed and not scare people. This anyway wasn’t the end, but I remember keeping myself locked inside my room the other day listening to people shouting outside and a few guys showing off their bike and I-can-be-so-pathetic-and-insanely cool skills. Ugh!